As I See It...

1. As I was walking in to Wal-Mart, there was a fairly large woman in front of me, completely unaware anyone was around, that decided to dig her underwear out of her ass. With her keys.
2. While going in to Blockbuster, a man, about 40 years old or so, apparently lost something important in his crotch and proceeded to dig there to find it for a better part of 10 minutes.
3. While sitting in my car at a stop light, a teen must have had something growing on the very tip of his brain because he had his finger so far up his nose it was unreal. Then apparently found the growth, and used it as hors d'oeuvres.
4. At the post office this afternoon, I was standing in line to mail a package when the man behind me apparently felt the holy spirit move him as he started to flt around the lobby waving his arms and screaming: "FIRE ANTS! FIRE ANTS!" There were no fire ants.
5. At the grocery, I was looking over the plums to purchase a few when I noticed a adult female pick one up, LICK IT, and put it back in the bin as if nothing had ever happened. I'll never buy fruit again that's not wrapped in cellophane.
6. In the mall at American Eagle to purchase a gift card for my cousin, two young girls - customers - came up to me and said: "You have a really nice body. Wanna go outside and mess around?" They MIGHT have been 12, maybe 13. I nearly threw up, but not until after I laughed at them for several minutes.
7. Coming home from town tonight, I was turning onto a street, when I saw a guy in a truck having a really good time turning in front of me. We stopped at a stop light, he stuck his hand out the window of his truck, slung it, "something" white flew off of it and ONTO MY WINDSHIELD. I ran the car through the car wash 3 times.

*please note that these did not all happen in one day, but over several days. But you have to admit, people do some weird shit when they think no one else is looking...